Giving Words to the Groans of the Spirit: Praying when things are tough.

A while back, I attended a writers conference where author of the Green Embers series, S.D. Smith spoke. He is widely known for this amazing book series full of rabbits with swords. It is perhaps one of my favorite hashtags on Instagram, #rabbitswithswords. Like Tolkein and C.S. Lewis, S.D. Smith has woven together an amazing world where the imagination of children and adults are ignited together under small but mighty warriors fighting for all that is good. While S.D. Smith shared about being an author, he shared his faith as well. The life of an author can have very dry seasons of writers block, self doubt and life circumstances that hinder the flow of words. He shared about a certain type of prayer called the Lament.

I shared about praying the Lament a year ago, Praying the Lament. I feel like it is something I need to revisit again in 2021. I would like to invite you along that we may strengthen, embolden, encourage and pray for each other through all of the things in our journeys through this year.

This prayer of lament has seven parts. 1.Cry out 2. Complaint 3. Affirmation of Trust 4.Petition request 5. Additional Arguments 6. rage focused at the brokenness of the world 7. assurance to God that you remain faithful regardless of the outcome. You can find this prayer throughout God’s word, in the Psalms, in Jeremiah, Lamentations and Habakkuk. God desires us to fully give up to Him all that is in our hearts. Not even the smallest sparrow is out of His hands.

LORD, my Lord,

I need Abba, Father! I need to hear your voice. Dear Lord, do not forsake me, I am your daughter and I need you now.

I passionately want to have the words to share your truth and love but they will not come. My heart longs to be a well spring for your Holy Spirit that you pour out through pen and keyboard. I want to speak but my words come up short, they do not capture the adequate portrayal of the peace and joy found in a relationship with you. I cannot get past my own insecurities, doubts and fears. I second guess each stroke of my pen and click of the keyboard and I quit more often than I prevail. How is that portraying peace or joy? It is angst and frustration. I betray the very message I desire to share.

And yet, You have not forsaken me. You are always with me. I know you knit me together in my mothers womb and prepared the days for me long before light shone on this terrafirma. I remember the words in the book of Daniel. “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, for wisdom and power belong to Him. he changes the times and seasons; He removes kings and establishes them. he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals the deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him.” (Daniel 2:20-22) I choose to believe that you are the one that puts the words to paper and when it is time for the fountain to flow like sweet living refreshing water to the soul, you will prepare both me to share them and the hearts of those meant to read them.

I beseech you God, creator of the heavens and the earth to use your willing daughter. Give me the words meant to heal, unify, bring peace and love to my brothers and sisters and to bring home those who need to know of your forgiveness. Release me from the writers block, from the insecurity, anxiety, self doubt and fear that creates a damn in the flow from mind, heart and soul to fingers.

So many people are hurting both in your church and out of it. There is bickering, hurt, painful wounds and apathy Lord. Who will you call on to be voices in this wilderness? Who will remind this world that you are the God of truth and love, of healing and peace, of joy that comes in the morning and strength that will make us rise up from the crumpled heaps on the kitchen floor? So many voices are needed to unify, to represent this Christ family to again be the city on the hill. Use me Lord! I am willing.

I hate the sin that has caused so much trauma and terror. I hate racism, sexism, immoral hands sacrificing the innocence of children for mere moments of pleasure. I hate the back biting and fighting, sacrificing so much goodness for a few minutes of fame on social media. My heart hurts at seeings leaders in the Church fighting each other on social platforms. I wonder how many people look and see that our family is not one they want anything to do with. How do we even be peace makers rather than peace keepers and not drag the church through the mud.

Oh my Abba King, I am your daughter, your servant, your disciple into this world. Use me to heal, to love, to bring peace and joy and true grace filled unity to this world. You have used me many times before to craft words and actions as part of the tapestry of grace. Do it again Lord, Jesus. I am willing.

Amen