Finding Unity and Peace with a Rebellious Spirit

How do we fit into a unified body of believers when we feel like we don’t fit in anywhere? This has been a long standing insecurity of mine, one that God has used to weave into my story and hopefully it is the common thread that can in turn connect with you.

In my early adult life, it seemed like all the women leading ministry or just prominent on television and the early stages of social media were so well put together. Their lives seemed seamless. It was probably just me not fully seeing. Satan can be like that, creating false perspectives and feeding insecurities. There is so much to unpack here. We will get there.

From as early as I can remember, I wanted to do things my way. Who doesn’t? If I looked to see what the crowd was doing, it was only to know I wanted something different than the norm. Over the last twenty five years of my faith walk, I can see how my rebellious spirit has impacted my relationship with Jesus and my fellow believers. It was not always tidy and often times it was lonely. If God calls us to be a united people of one mind and spirit, then why did he give me this rebellious spirit? At times I have cried in frustration. Over the years however, I believe God has begun to weave together a story that is one that closely reflects the testimony of His Church. I have learned that while I may have thought I was so very different from my brothers and sisters in Christ, I was not as different as I thought.

Romans 5:1-2 picture

Not only do we have the peace that comes with unity with God our Father but we have the opportunity to produce fruit that comes with unity with fellow believers.

This is our journey. It is broken people in a broken world forming the Church to experience the healing love through the saving grace of Christ Jesus. It is messy and it isn’t always fun. It is full of mountain tops and valleys. It is learning to trust Jesus and forgive His people for way their brokenness sometimes spills over into our own lives. It is breaking down walls and learning the balance between healthy autonomy and Christ centered unity.

This is the over arching message I desire to share. I desire to create a safe place for us to share all the ways this journey manifests in our lives. I want to share my stories, my testimonies and to hear yours, to know your experiences and mine are real, true, and heard. We are a redeemable people, a people saved, loved, and wanted.

It is my desire to have discourse about deconstruction and reconstruction of faith, about mental health, faith and the threats to our faith and hope. I want to hear stories and share stories, to begin again as the Church, united through the healing of pain, of death and from sin. Let us take each next step together.