Through the Fire

I started this blog post earlier this evening and it took a very sharp unexpected turn that has me marveling at the handy work of God and also very ready to go to bed. Let me take you back a few days.

I’ve been dealing with some migraine brain fog the last few days. Nothing intense but very frustrating. No big deal. I thank God that I have had it really good lately. I just took really good naps all weekend.

Then there is last night’s fun events. You see, I’m not an okay cook. I’m a horrible baker. I burn a lot of stuff. Charcoal brownies and charred cookie disks are pretty much my thing. I also stink at grilled cheese. I digress. So I am sitting next to the stove reading a book because if I walk away from the biscuits, I might forget them or something and they will not survive. Thank God I was sitting there because I was able to hear popping and zapping and then see flames. Dan came running when I yelled. Thankfully after everything was said and done, the dead oven was stashed in the garage and we cleaned up fire extinguisher dust. Did you even know that about fire extinguisher dust? It was like a baking soda bomb went off in my house. Needless to say, my house is now very clean because I had to dust, vacuum and mop every surface multiple times.

Earlier this evening I was ready to write regarding the time my mom taught me about looking for the silver lining in life. In 5th grade, I vomited all over the kitchen floor because stomach bug. Mom was nice about it and said it gave her an excuse to clean the kitchen floors so no big deal. I was just about to write that earlier tonight but I didn’t get that far.

You see, I had my kids at martial arts. I was sitting in the car because it was to “peopley” inside and there were some loud talkers. I needed a little more quiet. Sitting in my car in 32 degree weather can get uncomfortable. I tried to turn the car on. It didn’t start.

I laughed. Friend, did I laugh. What a time to have my car break down and strand my kids and me than when I’m writing about finding the silver lining in stressful situations. I called my amazing husband. He pointed out that there is an Auto Zone right next to me and he would be there in a minute. In the mean time I walked over to Auto Zone and a super nice guy, Danny, helped me. Dan came and after some cool handy work by Danny, we surmised I needed a new battery. So Dan went off with Danny to get that taken care while the kids and I headed off in search of dinner.

So here I am at home, thinking on what God is trying to share with me here. Mostly, what is the message he wants to share with both you and me through all of this? I stood in my kitchen this evening cleaning up the remnants of fast food for the kids dinner when I stared at the giant hole in my kitchen where the stove should be. I figured, hey at least the house doesn’t smell like smoke.

My house doesn’t smell like smoke?!!!! I came away not smelling like smoke!

Then it hit me like a freight train or more importantly, God’s Holy Spirit;

Nebuchadnezzar said, “if you do not worship [my statue], you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace.”

Then Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. if we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand O king.”

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not burn in the blazing furnace. “They came out and everyone saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair on their heads singed; their robes were not scorched; and there was no smell of fire on them.” Daniel 3, (my own retelling of these verses so please go read them for yourself)

Did you catch that?! They came out not smelling like smoke. I mean, I feel silly even comparing my broken oven and my broken car to the testimony of these three men and God with them in the furnace. That is partly because my crazy week has me already wanting to take a long nap tomorrow and I’m writing this on Tuesday night. I need to be real. I laughed when my car didn’t start but I’m tired from all these shananagins. One thing I know for sure though is that faith does not require physical strength. My body hurts (mopping floors last night reminds me I need to work out more) but my faith is made stronger.

in all honesty, neither of these circumstances are real faith challengers, not on their own at least. The enemy is real however and he likes to stack the cards against us. I’m fond of the phrase, “Death by a thousand paper cuts” because any one thing is not a huge deal but after a while, all the things together can break us down.

In the book, the Weekly Prayer Project by Scarlet Hiltibidil this week really speaks to this. One question asked is what is a prayer that I grow weary in praying. I can think of two off the top of my head that sometimes frustrates me when I see no answer. I choose to keep faith rather than despair because I know my prayers are for people I love and and I know God loves them more. So I pray and I wait expectantly and with faith.

Okay, that was last night (Tuesday night). I didn’t post this because I felt like God still had a message to share with us. My girl, Christina Brandal just sent my some Instagram stories that were totally it!

God has called me out to share his eternal hope in the light of temporary struggles in our lives. Currently, I am praying and having faith amidst insecurity about stepping out in this calling while I struggle with migraines which can cause me to cancel plans. How do I do what he is asking when the risk of migraines is present? Then my girl sent me information on Pamela Piquette, executive director and co-founder of Chronic Joy. She has chronic migraines among other health related things and is a not only doing public speaking and putting things on her calendar, which causes me anxiety, but she directs and founded an organization. She speaks to other Christian women with chronic illnesses or diseases. How amazing is that? I am super encouraged.

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Vanessa Luu is a writer who shares her journey on Instagram. She is honest and real. She recently shared about feeling burned out and how she, through the struggle, continued to pray and read scripture but also allow herself the rest and time to heal. It is such a balance. Yes we need need need to pray and read scripture without ceasing. We also need to recognize when our bodies need rest, care and sometimes medicine and always, support from friends and family.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so but we ourselves who have the first fruits of the Spirit groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons and daughters, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved but hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we should pray for, but the Spirit himself interceded for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit interceded for the saints in accordance with God’s will. Romans 8:22-27

My sweet, beautiful brave friend, at no point in our struggles does God expect us to pretend we are okay when we are not. He knows our groans, when we weep and when we cannot physically persevere. He planned for that in giving us his Holy Spirit. My prayers today for you and for me is that while we go day to day, we can lean into God and lean on each other. I am so excited that though my body groans, my soul can sing out seeing hope and peace.