Can I really be structured or disciplined? Time will tell.

I have been contemplating the ways in which I can, as a chaplain, utilize my blog as a positive instrument. I have lots of ideas. Up until now, it is more an emotionally driven thing because let’s be honest, I often fail at sticking to a structured plan. It is actually kind of embarrassing to be honest.

Thankfully, I am also very stubborn, so I refuse to give up. A few days ago during a quiet meditation (known as that quiet time when I am about to fall asleep during a nap, when I do my best thinking). My newsletters and Instagram have been known as Coffee Break with Katie. What does coffee with a friend look like? What do I talk about with a good friend over coffee? Encouragement, social issues, family, shoes, stuff I love on Amazon or my obsession with Target (I really am pretty much basic chick), my kids, my dogs, you get the point. Why not make this blog like that? So here we go.

Two posts a week with the first post being something encouraging like Scripture, devotions, book excerpts and the end of the week one being topic points like, “Five things I love.” “Five things on my mind.” “Five things..” fill in the blank.

Today is Tuesday, still the beginning of the week. So word of encouragement it is!

“It’s estimated that adults make over 35,000 decisions every day. A study at Cornell University revealed Americans make over two hundred daily decisions on food alone. So many of those decisions are mindless; we aren’t actually aware of our choices. Right now chances are high that you have decision to make. Those 35,000 don’t even account for the extra ones that come in the midst of job loss, marriage proposals, graduation, diagnosis, cross-country move, promotion, argument, pregnancy or car accident. Every day, we have choices to make, priorities to set, goals to meet, and desires to consider.” Emily P Freeman, The Next Right Thing

So here I am constantly making decisions, attempting to set goals but acutely aware of the list in my head of every time I have failed to uphold goals. Maybe it would be a good idea to spend some time writing down a list of goals and decisions I have been successful with. Maybe I can write myself a letter telling myself why I am not the failure my inner voice likes to call me. I’m not the failure I see in other’s micro expressions when I don’t meet their expectations. You know what I mean. You perceive other’s disappointment when they sigh slightly or slump their shoulders. Your friend, family member or co-worker may say it is okay but the doubt is there.

Move forward, don’t give up. What was a hard goal to keep that you actually kept? Or maybe not a hard one but an important one. I will go first.

1. I stopped drinking sugar in my coffee for a few weeks now (I haven’t seen an impact on my weight scales, but I am less tired and anxious … I think.
2. 16 years of marriage feels like a pretty good decision I have stuck with. LOL
3. I write. It isn’t always pretty, easy or well liked by others but I haven’t given up. For me it is a calling from God. It isn’t an easy calling that naturally flows from me. It is, however, something I am good at and I need to use it11. It doesn’t always make sense but it is deep in my bones and always has been. It is innate and I can’t imagine never writing even when it is the hardest thing to string words together.