Detour

There is no way to know how you can handle a situation when you haven’t even imagined the possible scenario to begin with and I’m pretty sure none of us had imagined this. Even movies and books with pandemics, quarantines and the like aren’t anything like this. They are probably more dramatic or apocalyptic. Had I been sitting around with friends, and we came up with this whole Corona Virus scenario, I might have imagined myself being a lot more heroic. As a chaplain, I might make videos to share with encouraging words, emails, newsletters, blog posts whatever. I did do some, I did my job but I feel like for the most part, I sat for this first week and a half pretty much in a bit of shock and confusion, muddling through trying to grab at any semblance of reality I could hold. I went from being a preschool teacher to my two children’s teacher. They have their own anxiety as they process all of it. I ate a lot of candy and chocolate milk. I lost my self in Netflix to help my brain relax from reality. I feel guilty for not being more proactive, helpful, supportive to others.

In essence, I am extremely human. I have no faith in myself but I can say that my faith that God the Father, creator of the universe, King of kings is bigger than our current circumstances still stands. Bad things happen to good people, bad people and normal average people all of whom God loves and sent his son Jesus to die for that though our temporary circumstances are awful, scary, unknown, lonely, anxiety inducing and just plane bonkers, He has called us to an eternal relationship with Him.

Blessed is the person whose strength is in You. Whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a spring. Psalms 84:5-6

That is what I want out of this. I want to see springs emerge from these circumstances, not because that is easy but because there are people who are fighters, stubborn, unwilling to allow circumstances and barren valleys take away their joy and eternal peace in the knowledge of a loving God. Oh how Satan would love to have us turn on that truth, decide it is a lie. After all, the age old question, “Why does God let bad things happen to good people?” People have been asking that question since the beginning of time. If you google it, you will find all manner of answers. What is God to do? Judge who is good and bad and allow the choice of human’s sin only have negative impact on the bad people? I don’t have answers to these questions. I can say, I don’t follow a religion that rejects people for not following rules. I follow a God that will choose to love you whether you have warmed a pew your whole life or you are on death row. When I look at the world, I see pain, hurt, death. When I look at God, I see miracles, love, unending grace and a peace that surpasses all understanding.

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed, we are perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8

Today was a good day. My boy didn’t cry when we did his school work. Yesterday he did and I took nap because that just drains me. I need to stay wrapped in the arms of God. I need him holding my face eye to eye to keep me focused on him. Today, I took these verses I am sharing with you and put them on my wall next to my cozy chair which I am pretty much camped out in for the rest of this thing however long it lasts. When anxiety threatens to choke me, I can read the verses, I can talk to my Jesus.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

I may still have anxious thoughts and anxious feelings but it makes all the difference knowing they are not with foundation or truth in my life. They are feelings that are nothing but a passing mist in the morning and will pass with the warmth of the sun (or son, just a little play on words there). Jesus and memes right now, am I right?

I am thankful we have technology to connect us. I don’t know who owns the Zoom app but wow. Zoom app guy and toilet paper companies are doing well.

My prayer is that as the church buildings are not a part of the church for a while that the actual church body rises up and is the hands and feet of God in this time. I pray to God and I play with my kids and drink the coffee and wait.

“Dear Lord, You paid a price for me so that I could be adopted by You. Help me to live like it. You planned out a course for my life so that i could be defined by You. Help me to act like it. You helped me to defeat my enemy. Help me not to forget it. You sent Your Holy Spirit so that I could live in power. Help me to fulfill that promise. You gave Your life for mine because you love me. Help me to do the same for You. Amen.” (Prayer from Power of A Praying Woman by Stormie OMartian)