Rest and Balance Part 2

To be absolutely honest, I don’t ever feel rested and I hate the word balance. I always imagine balance being the circus guy balancing plates on sticks. That seems more stressful that anything else, the fear and anxiety of dropping something dripping sweat on my forehead, my neck tense looking up, my back arched trying to not fail. The word balance, for sure, is horrible. A while back, I read a blog or heard a podcast or a Bible study, I don’t know, but someone introduced me to the idea of rhythm. Life changes tempo and the dance changes. Sometimes its a slow dance, other times its a salsa. I liked that much better. Well, all but the times when I get the hang of the salsa that busts into a tango before I know it and then screeches to a super slow dance like the awkward ones where middle school kids are basically just shifting wait from foot to food one ruler length away from each other.

My point is, I get it. I really, really get it. Life is hard. Rest is rare and plates are crashing to the floor. I cannot however, throw in the towel. I don’t know what is on those plates of yours but two of mine are my children and they need me. I’m also a teacher. I can see my students eyes in my mind right now as they look at me every day criss cross applesauce on the carpet, waiting for me to lead them. I see the look in their eyes when they get something really hard. I want to not give up because they don’t give up. They believe that they are capable of what I tell them they are capable of. They trust me. They think I am capable. My own children, my husband, they think I am capable. So I don’t give up.

I had the opportunity a few months back to attend an event lead by the amazing life coach, Kim Halloway. She had us choose a picture of ourselves from our childhood. First she had us share our biggest fears and insecurities about ourselves. A pervasive lie that has haunted me is that people will see I am a fraud and not who I say I am no matter what that is, a teacher, a chaplain, a friend, a future counselor. Then she had us look at our picture and tell our child self that lie. Tell that little blond haired blue eyed girl with the big red bow on her dress and think bangs that she is a fraud and not smart enough to be an expert in anything. Crushing isn’t it?

I now have that picture of me, pictures of my children, along with inspiring pictures taped onto my closet door. I have post its with big ideas, dreams and goals up for me to see everyday. Somedays I hit the snooze button a million times. Other days I don’t do snooze at all and I’m a 5:30 yoga master. Every day we keep going friend because there are always good reasons to find the balance, find the rhythm or just at the very least, brush your teeth and wear clean clothes. Do the things. Get it done. Drink the coffee, Get some sleep. We can do this. Whatever weighs you down right now. Remember that it six months or a year, you will have owned this. You will move on eventually and it will be history. Lets do this together. We are braver than we think we are. We are created and loved by the Creator of the freaking universe girl!!! That is a great place to start.