Looking Forward

I have learned so much in 2019! I feel like arriving at 40 has been such an incredible experience. I am dancing a little jig inside thinking about what could be ahead for this next decade. Before I start planning a decade, I’m gearing up for 2020. Vision board, journaling and researching like crazy getting ready has me so pumped!

What is a vision board and what is on mine?

A vision board is inspiration for what you want for a set purpose whether that be a home, a vacation, a future, a career or any dream you desire to make into a reality. I am currently laying out how I want to be intentional with my resources; time, finances, energy, emotions and relationships. I desire a few things for work, home life, relationships and my self care. Mine has pictures of horses because I want more time at the stables, family pictures, pictures of dynamic women, pictures to inspire my writing, encouraging and challenging quotes and Bible verses, lists of goals, my values, vision statement, my “why” and a reminder to breathe.

I have had this idea brewing in my mind. I want to branch out and start creating opportunities for women to connect, grow and support each other in my community. It is something I would like to begin working towards. I just had a God ordained, mind blowing, butterfly inducing conversation with a new friend this week, Brandi. She is an absolutely dynamic, energetic, genuine, authentic, let me grab my thesaurus because she is an amazing woman. She and I talked about how God is working in my community and how God has called us both to be a positive, healing and encouraging influence. We tossed up ideas for speaking engagements, gatherings and networking to bring together dynamic, intelligent and passionate women. I have goose bumps just thinking about it! This is an idea I will be working through and praying about what this dream will look like.

One thing won’t change. I have been purposeful with my career focus to make my family a high priority. One thing I love about being a chaplain is how my family is involved in my career and ministry. It is so much fun taking my kids with me to work site visits, seeing them open doors I couldn’t do on my own and watching them grow into the abilities God has created them for. Quite honestly, I am a big introvert so time with just my two kids and my husband is what feeds my soul. Dan and I make family dinners mandatory in our home. For me, being able to tuck my kids in at night is a really big deal. That time with them has created a really special bond and it is when I do my best soul penetrating parenting. Both my babies have invited Jesus into their hearts during bedtime prayers.

I have also spent the last year really being purposeful about my friendships. You know that Face Book post that goes around about friends who can go long periods of time without talking and its totally cool? Well, that works for some people and it may work for particular seasons of life like new babies and college. I don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong. I totally have those kinds of friends. I also know that it isn’t the only kind of friends that I personally need. I need supportive, encouraging regular interaction with my girls to help me keep going to achieve my dreams. I mean, I can be pretty intense. I know this about myself and that it can be a little much for most. I thrive in big ideas, dreaming, creativity and unbridled imagination. I’m not sugar coated and a little uncensored about my weaknesses. I want to share what God has done in my life with the world. So, in 2019, I joined a writers group. I have a standing work lunch with a friend and we help each other with our writing and she has helped me through some pretty low points. I am purposeful about surrounding myself with other artistic and creative people whose goals are similar to my own. For me, friendships are all about the shared energy and time is limited. I don’t waste it. This is awesome because I have created a great foundation for myself to move me forward for 2020.

I am going to pause here to get super real for a second. A big part of planning for a new year is understanding limits. I wish I was like those amazing photo shopped well edited people in magazines and Instagram and wherever else they strut but I’m 110% not and that is totally okay. If you know me then you know I deal with pretty debilitating migraines. They have had a significant impact on my life and how I navigate my days. I cancel plans and work, bailed on friends, canceled meetings and rearranged my schedule on a moments notice and sometimes flat out disappear off the face of the earth. Migraines comes with so many nasty problems like severe head pain, brain fog, nausea, dizziness, vision problems, sensory sensitivity and so much more. The head pain can be so excruciating that it literally makes me cry and takes days for my brain to recover from. As a result of this I struggle with anxiety and depression. One of my greatest insecurities is letting people down. My big ugly Boggart (Harry Potter reference) or phobia is disappointing others and being undependable and that is exactly what migraines lead to. Never feel like you are alone or shamed for seeking therapy or medical assistance when you need it to function. I am thankful to have a kick butt support system who all understand and support me and work with me “come what may”. Feeling “less than” is a lie straight from Satan. God knew me and he knew you long before you were formed in your mama’s womb.

You are absolutely the right one for what He has made you and called you for.It is the accumulation of strengths, limitations, and experiences that has shaped my dream to inspire a strong community of women. Perhaps one of the biggest platforms I refuse to step off of is helping others realize we are all flawed and no one is without the need for grace. We need grace and compassion and love and we need to give it just as much.

So, I will continue on, do the things and go the places and get up every single day with hope and faith. There is so much I want to share and so much I want to do. I am so excited for 2020! Last year’s word was intentionality. I was super intentional about the direction I took and now in 2020 I will take that a step further. Time to pick a new word! Y’all, I love a good word!